Copyright 2012, Michael Ra Bouchard, Ph.D. All rights reserved.

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"Sexual Rights Are Human Rights" Series

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Page Index

1. "Sexual Rights are Human Rights"

2. "Above All, it's About Compassion"

3. “An Appeal for All to Exercise Common Sense and Good Conscience”

4. “Justice for All”

5. "No Sexists in Foxholes"

6. "Taking a Stand on the Right Side of History"

7. "In Tomorrow’s World"

8. "Close but no Cigar"

Letter to the Editor Sent to Newspapers Island Wide in Hawai'i
February 6, 2009

"Sexual Rights are Human Rights"

by Michael Ra Bouchard, Ph.D.
Sexologist

Hawaii has a long and honorable history of respecting and embracing cultural and religious diversity. This celebrated tolerance was gravely threatened in 1998 by the constitutional amendment passed that year against gay marriage. Supported and financed extensively by powerful religious extremists’ foundations mostly from the mainland, this referendum was a deliberate and atrocious assault upon democracy.

It was spearheaded by small yet vocal and well-organized religious coalitions publicly committed to legislating morality nationwide. Hawaii was then but the latest pawn in their national campaign, and the repeated willingness of this faction to sacrifice truth and decency in order to achieve their self-serving agendas at any cost is well documented and on record.

Admirably, once again today the Hawaii Legislature is focusing on correcting this injustice through a renewed push to grant committed same-sex couples similar rights and benefits to married couples through civil unions. The issue here is not about marriage, despite the millions of dollars that were previously funneled into the inflammatory media smoke screen intentionally manipulating and confusing us. Their massive advertising and commercial blitz in 1998, and again in 2007, was designed to deliberately mislead, emotionally incite and manipulate good, well-meaning people into supporting legislation of bigotry and intolerance, hoping to distract the public from the real issue, and unfortunately it worked both times.

However, attempts to legislate morality always attack our fundamental liberties. Further, they violate America’s constitutional law requiring separation of church and state. The real issue then and now is simply one of equal rights and justice for all—for everyone—regardless of race, religious creed or sexual orientation.

Imagine how different Hawaii’s rich and diverse heritage would be today if all the kupuna of the past two hundred years had been legally denied the right to marry someone of a different race. Personally, my wife of Hawaiian-Chinese ancestry and I would have been denied the right to marry, as also would have been her parents and countless other Islanders.

We must ensure that the aloha spirit of our beautiful state continues to extend evenly to everyone by treating people equally. The majority of Hawaii residents have spoken out in favor of tolerance, and hearing us, our lawmakers now appear to have found the fortitude and conviction to rectify this mistake. Get behind our state representatives in taking a courageous stand against discrimination and prejudice, and encourage them to vote YES on equal rights for all by calling and writing them now with your support of civil unions.

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Letter to the Editor Follow-Up
Sent to Newspapers Island Wide in Hawai'i
February 26, 2009

"Above All, it's About Compassion"

 by Michael Ra Bouchard, Ph.D.
Sexologist

In follow-up to my recent letter in support of civil unions, I respectfully urge everyone to refrain from reacting emotionally, and to focus on being pono. Attacking or insulting anyone, regardless of their stand, is unjustifiable. Everyone is entitled to his opinion, no matter how "wrong" or misinformed it may be. However, no segment of society ever has the right to deny any other segment the same rights they, themselves, enjoy--especially those who through no fault or choice of their own may be different or part of an unpopular minority.

Regarding sexual orientation, none of us “chooses” the gender of the person we fall in love with, rather love chooses us. Developing feelings of romantic love for a person is what determines and defines our sexual orientation, not the actual sexual behavior itself. Obsessing about who puts what where is simply not the point at all.

Regarding historical tolerance by indigenous peoples, my Native Hawaiian wife assures me that Hawaiian culture has always been accepting of “mahu.” And in the words of one American Indian elder regarding same-sex orientation: “To us a man is what nature or his dreams make him. We accept him for what he wants to be.” Additionally, gay traditions were prevalent in most American Indian tribes, with reports of both women and men living in same-sex marriages with considerable social prestige. Indeed, it is recorded history that many North American Indian tribes so valued “gayness” that people who displayed these characteristics were picked for special office, thus proving that homophobia is not some sort of genetic trait indigenous to all cultures.

We must stand for principles and do what’s right even when the majority is unconvinced. Here in America, majority rule has produced the shameful injustices of slavery, genocide, racism and segregation, even the overthrow of a sovereign kingdom. It's been rightly noted that "letting the people decide" is often a guise for "majoritarian tyranny." A wrong is always a wrong no matter how many support it.

Legalizing the same rights for committed same-sex couples will not take away from the rights and benefits afforded to heterosexual couples. No matter what you hear, don’t let ignorance, fear or hate mislead you from the real issue: Until liberty and justice truly applies equally to everyone--of every race, creed, and sexual orientation--ours is neither a republic with liberty or nation with justice for all. Compassion and decency demand no less of us.

“An Appeal for All to Exercise
Common Sense and Good Conscience”

  by Michael Ra Bouchard, Ph.D.
Sexologist

Because of the massive efforts by those opposed to civil unions to continually spread misinformation and propaganda, I am left with no choice but to now once and for all confront and thoroughly address these lies, distortions and inaccuracies.

I must completely refute the faulty logic and defective argument that allowing civil unions between loving and committed same-sex couples is no different than allowing pedophiles, plural marriages, marriage between siblings, or even animals and people to marry. This outrageous “reasoning” is nothing short of an insult upon our intelligence and is complete and utter nonsense. Such fundamentally flawed thinking is neither rational nor logical, and on the contrary, is the product of misplaced fear and hate that has hijacked common sense and gagged good conscience.

Please remember that the men and women who would benefit from civil unions are for the most part decent and good people, not monsters or outcasts of society. They are well-adjusted, law-abiding, and contributing members of society seeking to share in the same rights and benefits afforded to those of mixed-sex marriages. These are members of our family, friends, neighbors, and fellow members of our community.

Just as we now know with absolute certainly that ending such injustices as slavery, genocide, white-male-only voting rights, racism and segregation was ethically correct and long overdue at the time they were righted, so someday shall also be recognized the protection of rights that follow from legalizing civil unions. 

And perhaps even one day in the not too distant future, another long overdue piece of legislation shall address and redress the wrongful overthrow of a sovereign nation and make proper restitution to its native Polynesian people. Those who are oppressed cannot be kept oppressed when righteousness is extended to all by its laws. 

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An Open Letter to All
February 28, 2009

(Complete unabridged version)

“An Appeal for All to Exercise
Common Sense and Good Conscience”

  by Michael Ra Bouchard, Ph.D.
Sexologist

Because of the massive efforts by those opposed to civil unions to continually spread misinformation and propaganda, I am left with no choice but to now once and for all confront and thoroughly address these lies, distortions and inaccuracies.

I must completely refute the faulty logic and defective argument that allowing civil unions between loving and committed same sex couples is no different than allowing pedophiles, plural marriages, marriage between siblings, or even animals and people to marry. This outrageous “reasoning” is nothing short of an insult upon our intelligence and is complete and utter nonsense. Such fundamentally flawed thinking is neither rational nor logical, and on the contrary, is the product of misplaced fear and hate that has hijacked common sense and gagged good conscience.

At best such foolish comparisons are the results of poorly developed reasoning abilities, and at worst, are nothing more than the unvarnished reflection of the stupidity and arrogance of the individual spouting such drivel. It cannot be overemphasized:  The issue is only about equal rights and justice for all law abiding members of our society--whether of heterosexual or homosexual orientation--that’s it, nothing more, nothing less.

Allow me to make this point simply and plainly:  The ONLY factor determining those who are afforded the rights, benefits, and responsibilities of marriage and those who are not, is one that is based entirely upon the matter of individual sexual orientation, which as previously noted, is the product of love, not choice or personal fault. Basically, being gay is no more a choice than being straight--either way it simply is “who we are." 

Homosexuality is not a lifestyle, preference, or perversion of nature; on the contrary, it's well-known and documented that same-sex relations are extremely common throughout the animal kingdom. It cannot be overemphasized that people don’t decide to fall in love with a man or a woman, it just happens to each according to their uniquely wired individuality as human beings, a natural product of both a person's genetic nature and environmental nurture. Whether straight or gay, both are natural and part of nature's grand plan. Permit me to be blunt: The tired tactic of equating civil unions with Sodom and Gomorrah-like behaviors, debauchery, and repulsive acts of rape, molestation and other non-consensual acts is nothing but a revolting and gutless attempt to inflame the issue.

Such despicable and obviously twisted examples as these are typical of the distortions and disinformation repeatedly trotted out by fear-mongering foes of civil unions. Why? Precisely to diffuse and misdirect the main argument of anyone opposing their morality legislating agenda because--no matter how loudly these activist bellow otherwise--the issue is and always will be simply and plainly one of equal rights for all.

Please remember that the men and women who would benefit from civil unions are for the most part, like any other group, decent and good people. They are not monsters, second-class citizens, or outcasts of society. They are well-adjusted, productive and contributing members of our society seeking to share in the same rights and benefits afforded to those of mixed-sex marriages. These are members of our family, friends, neighbors, and fellow members of our community.

Another misleading tactic from those opposed to civil unions:  The patently absurd arguments equating same-sex marriage to the complete meltdown of biological and social intelligence leading to the breakdown of society. I’m reminded of a particularly inflammatory television commercial that was repeatedly run here in Hawai’i before the 1998 vote. It showed a man wearing a tuxedo and a woman in her wedding gown, standing at the altar in church about to be married, with family and friends gathered in the pews behind. Yet before they complete their vows, the groom suddenly bolts from the altar and runs up the aisle straight out the door, leaving his stunned bride and shocked wedding guests behind. The next scene shows him running into a nearby church and down the aisle to the altar where he joins, surprise of surprises, another man wearing a tuxedo standing at the altar awaiting him to be married!

Such ludicrous portrayals of homosexuality are an insult to anyone of decency. And indeed, they would be laughable had not the opponents of civil unions succeeded in their muckraking mission to inflame outrage and cloud the matter so as to further bigotry, fear, and intolerance. It's also very mean-spirited and cruelly derogatory to people who, through no fault or choice of their own, are made to feel by other segments of the community that they are somehow sick, evil, and even a menace to society. Nothing could be further from the truth. The truth of the matter is that anyone who is intolerant and judgmental would do well to seek guidance on living a righteous life where love is not judged. Indeed, did not the Master and Lord Buddha each personify such compassionate and nonjudgmental love towards all?

Regrettably, since this issue was first debated in 1998, many well-meaning people of Hawai'i have been manipulated into acting against their innate "live and let live" attitudes of acceptance and tolerance. But fortunately, you can't fool all of the people all of the time. Ever since that long ago vote many citizens of good conscience have begun to speak up in favor of equality, having come to see the truth and decide what is right for themselves and for our society. It may be hard for some to believe, but it was only 60 years ago that interracial--or “mixed-race marriage” as it was called--was illegal in 31 of the 48 states of the United States, yet today nobody would argue against the laws that righted that wrong. Substitute same-sex marriage for mixed-race marriage and the issue today is clearly revealed yet again as one of equal rights and justice for all.

Attempts to legislate morality always fail in the long run, and this present issue shall not be exempted. It is only a matter of time before our lawmakers muster the courage to take action on the right side of history, just as it was done when brave lawmakers throughout the past rectified previous injustices that then allowed greater freedoms to all, and not just for the powerful majority of that time. Equality means everyone.

We must stand for principles and do what’s right
even when the majority is unconvinced.

Trying to imagine how the love of two people shared within a committed civil union could ever be a threat to society is beyond all reason. To anyone presently confused, fearful, or otherwise unsure about what is right, I gently say to you now--listen to your heart.

Just as we now know with absolute certainly that ending such injustices as slavery, genocide, white-male-only voting rights, racism and segregation was ethically correct and long overdue at the time they were righted, so someday shall also be recognized the protection of rights that follow from legalizing civil unions. And perhaps even one day in the not too distant future, another long overdue piece of legislation shall address and redress the wrongful overthrow of a sovereign nation and make proper restitution to its native Polynesian people. Those who are oppressed cannot be kept oppressed when righteousness is extended to all by its laws.

It is never too late for a wrong to be righted, especially rights which are guaranteed by the Constitution and are meant to apply equally--and with dignity and respect--to everyone. Each of us must exercise common sense and act in good conscience. It is essential to understand that while our democracy relies on the principle of majority rule, it also requires the equal protection of civil rights for all citizens.

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Letter Sent in Support of a Petition to
Enact Civil Unions in Hawai’i

January 18, 2010
Martin Luther King Day

“Justice for All”

by Michael Ra Bouchard, Ph.D.
Sexologist

Once again this year, the Hawai’i State Legislature is poised to vote on the matter of extending equal rights to all Hawai’i citizens by authorizing civil unions for same-sex couples.

Regardless of the outcome of this present vote, in the not so distant future, justice will ultimately prevail and equal rights will be extended to all regardless of race, creed, gender, or sexual orientation. In years to come, subsequent generations of Americans will look back at the current arguments and laws against legalized civil unions with disbelief and reproach.

History shall reveal present-day homophobic beliefs and prejudicial laws for the bigotry and discrimination they have always been. Historical perspective today exposes other once popular but now reviled laws, such as those permitting slavery, denying women the right to vote, and forbidding inter-racial marriage, for the misguided and unjust policies that they were. As with these and other injustices from yesteryear, an enlightened awareness shall lay bare the flawed arguments and wrongful laws presently being employed against extending equal rights to same-sex couples through civil unions.

Civil rights should never be denied to anyone. Equal treatment under the law demands that same-sex couples be granted the same rights, privileges, and responsibilities as those received in marriage by opposite-sex couples under state law. Despite whatever temporary legal setbacks civil unions may suffer in the coming months or years, liberty and justice for all requires of us to continue fighting the good fight against bigotry and discrimination. As a moral and just society, we must not quit until all forms of institutionalized discrimination are inevitably relegated to where they belong—forever cast upon history’s rubbish heap.

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 Letter to the Editor
Sent to Newspapers Island Wide in Hawai'i

February 3, 2010

Thoughts on Gays in the Military
Written by a former Marine and present-day Sexologist

  
“No Sexists in Foxholes”

by Michael Ra Bouchard, Ph.D.
Sexologist

It is time to repeal the failed "don't ask, don't tell" policy regarding gays in the military. It is the right thing to do. Period. If a soldier is willing to put his or her life on the line to serve and defend this country, sexual orientation is irrelevant. There are no sexists in foxholes. The content of a person's character is what defines that person. Speaking as a decades-long practicing doctor of human sexuality, I know that sexual orientation is not a lifestyle choice, but is rather for the most part biologically predetermined. As a straight man and former Marine, I proudly served alongside gay men and women in uniform. They served their country with honor and distinction, as did previous generations of gay American military personnel before them in every armed conflict going all the way back to the Revolutionary War. The right to serve belongs to no one. After all, America is built on the idea of political equality. Despite the many decades of institutional oppression and discrimination leveled against this group by government policy, gays in the military have consistently proven themselves worthy of respect and unconditional trust. They are long overdue our collective apology and well deserved thanks.

Post Script:
My short letter above presents an oversimplification of a very complex—and controversial—matter, namely, the origin of sexual orientation. Suffice it to say that most experts, myself included, would agree that sexual orientation is a matter of both nature and nurture, both/and verses either nature or nurture.

Every pregnancy has a unique progression of innate and situational factors throughout gestation that influence the developing fetus and how the brain is originally "hardwired". Specifically, the gender of the person we fall in love with, male or female, is overwhelmingly determined and driven by our particular brain's wiring for sexual orientation. And while we all have personal preferences within our God-given orientation, generally speaking, we don’t “choose” the gender of those we fall in love with and find sexually attractive—rather, it chooses us.

For further discussion of this topic, please read the series of sexual rights articles posted in my online archive, and check out the resource links below for studies examining brain differences related to sexual orientation:

For a view of Hawaii's polysexual past click on the link below:

  http://www.outtraveler.com/features.asp?did=1010

For studies examining brain differences related to sexual orientation click on the links below:

  http://www.amenclinics.com/blog/1119/are-heterosexual-brains-  different-from-homesexual-brains/

  http://wthrockmorton.com/2008/06/17/study-examines-brain-differences-related-to-sexual-orientation/